If you can’t laugh at yourself, how in the world are you gonna laugh at somebody else?
We asked ChatGPT — an AI chatbot that uses natural language processors to generate text-based responses — to roast Knoxville as a way to celebrate our city. At the end of the day, we love living here and wouldn’t change a thing that makes K-town special — even the Sunsphere selfies.
Editor’s note: The following ChatGPT responses have been edited for brevity.
Can you roast Knoxville, TN?
Knoxville: Where the University of Tennessee football team is the town’s entire personality, and yet somehow they still think they’re Alabama. You’ve got Neyland Stadium, which fits over 100,000 people — which is wild, because that’s roughly the same number of teeth missing across the entire fanbase.
Okay, that’s funny — but what do you think about our downtown?
It’s like the city planners said, “What if we make a cool urban area… but take it back 20 years and give up halfway?” You’ve got Market Square, where people go to pretend they’re in a big city while eating artisanal hot dogs next to a guy playing Coldplay on a banjo.
You’ve gotta love the Sunsphere though.
The Sunsphere? That big golden disco ball they slapped in the middle of the city like it’s a landmark? It’s more so a monument to the city’s love of bad 1982 World’s Fair architecture and awkward selfies.
Fair enough. How’s the traffic?
Bless your heart if you try to drive anywhere — the roads look like they were designed by a raccoon with a GPS addiction. Every turn’s a gamble between ending up at a Cracker Barrel or mysteriously winding up in Sevierville.
What do you think about some of Knoxville’s famous celebrities?
Quentin Tarantino, your movies are like a fever dream written by a guy on Red Bull and revenge fantasies. Maybe give toes a break in the next one?
Johnny Knoxville, you put the city in your name like a walking tourism ad, then promptly launched yourself out of a cannon in your underwear. Thanks for making Knoxville proud by proving you can make millions doing things your mom begged you not to do.
Kenny Chesney, you’re like if a beach towel became a person. You sing about island life like you’ve never even seen a Waffle House past midnight in Knoxville.
Can you give Knoxville a backhanded compliment?
At least you’ve got the Smoky Mountains nearby — so locals can leave Knoxville to be reminded what beauty actually looks like.
Okay, time for a real compliment.
Fineeee. You’re a gem tucked between the Smokies and the Tennessee River, blending Southern charm with vibrant energy. Your historic Market Square, scenic greenways, and deep-rooted pride in the Vols make you more than just a stop on the map — you’re a city with heart, soul, and a little bit of that Tennessee magic.
Do you have your own roast for Knoxville? Sock it to us and you may be featured in an upcoming newsletter.
